so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
