Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Drunk is not a location!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
