Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
