So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
