i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
even my farts smell like vagina
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
