I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
