I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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