I can text with my tongue
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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