Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
