you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Screwed.edu
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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