he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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