He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
