...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
