I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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