i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This is my gift to your gina
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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