dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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