remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
