I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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