Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
