you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
