so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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