u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just fell off a train. Bad.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
