Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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