Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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