Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
