Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I lost the right to judge tonight
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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