If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
