Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize