I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
