my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
