Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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