i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
