Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
as a side note pls kill me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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