I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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