Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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