I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
