thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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