You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
