So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize