i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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