okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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