I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
