My room smells like vodka and shame
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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