Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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