my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
