can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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