why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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