Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
