When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
