do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
