dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize