Duck Duck Cougar?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh god it's open bar.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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