i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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