I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am full of burrito and curiosity
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
