drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
