It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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