In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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