But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize