this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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