OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
