Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
