I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
