so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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